Welcome to A Teen Guide to Separation and Divorce. This site is for you if

  • your parents have recently separated or divorced,
  • you think they are about to, or
  • you have a friend in that situation.

Disclaimer

Parental separation and divorce are hard on teens. One thing that can help is information about what separation and divorce mean in Maine, and how divorce might affect you.

  • The purpose of this site is to provide you with information. The site is not intended to provide therapy, support or legal advice.
  • Do you have younger brothers or sisters? If so, get them to check out the Kids' Guide.

What you’ll find on this website:

  • What's Happening and Why: What separation and divorce mean, some of the reasons why they happen, and why you are not the reason for your parents' separation or divorce
  • Changes in Your Life: Things that are most likely to change in your life when your parents separate or divorce, some things that probably won't change, and some tips on getting used to change and getting on with your life.
  • Your Emotions: Common feelings teens have when their parents separate or divorce, and some tips on how to deal with them.
  • Strategies: Strategies for dealing with some of the new situations you might experience when your parents separate or divorce.
  • About the Law: This section outlines some of the Maine laws about separation and divorce, including a list of key words and definitions.
  • Resources: People who can help, and more sources of information.
  • FAQ—Some Frequently Asked Questions about parental separation and divorce.

This website is provided by Pine Tree Legal Assistance, with funding from the Legal Services Corporation. It was developed by the Justice Education Society of British Columbia. 

Q & A

Q:
Can I do anything to get my parents back together?
A:

Most parents split up only after trying very hard to save their relationship. Their decision to separate or divorce is usually final.

Some teens hope and believe that if they try to be on their very best behavior, their parents will get back together. However, this plan isn't likely to work, since their parents' decision to split up had nothing to do with them.

Apart from suggesting that your parents see a marriage counselor, if they haven't already done so, the best thing that you can do is to begin to accept the situation so that you can get on with your life.

Q:
I really feel like I need some help in dealing with this. Who should I ask?
A:

There are lots of people around you who can help. Tell your parents, teacher, school counselor, family doctor or another adult you trust. If they can't help you themselves, they should be able to help you find someone who can.

If you aren't getting the help you think you need, keep asking until you get it.

Q:
Do I have to take sides, or choose one parent over the other?
A:

No, you don't. You have the right to love and be loved by both parents.

If you are feeling pressured to take sides, and you feel you are caught in the middle of your parents' problems, tell them.

Q:
Will I be able to spend time with both parents?
A:

In the vast majority of cases, children get to spend time with both parents. How much time you spend with each parent, and exactly how that will work, will depend on your custody and parenting time (visitation) arrangements.

Remember: Parents divorce each other, not their children. Your parents are still your parents, and they still love you.

Q:
My parents never married. Do they have to go through the same process that married parents do when they split up?
A:

Parents who never married or chose to live together without getting married—don't have to get a divorce, because there is no marriage to end. But they do need to decide what will happen to their children and how they will divide their property.