Welcome to A Teen Guide to Separation and Divorce. This site is for you if

  • your parents have recently separated or divorced,
  • you think they are about to, or
  • you have a friend in that situation.

Disclaimer

Parental separation and divorce are hard on teens. One thing that can help is information about what separation and divorce mean in Maine, and how divorce might affect you.

  • The purpose of this site is to provide you with information. The site is not intended to provide therapy, support or legal advice.
  • Do you have younger brothers or sisters? If so, get them to check out the Kids' Guide.

What you’ll find on this website:

  • What's Happening and Why: What separation and divorce mean, some of the reasons why they happen, and why you are not the reason for your parents' separation or divorce
  • Changes in Your Life: Things that are most likely to change in your life when your parents separate or divorce, some things that probably won't change, and some tips on getting used to change and getting on with your life.
  • Your Emotions: Common feelings teens have when their parents separate or divorce, and some tips on how to deal with them.
  • Strategies: Strategies for dealing with some of the new situations you might experience when your parents separate or divorce.
  • About the Law: This section outlines some of the Maine laws about separation and divorce, including a list of key words and definitions.
  • Resources: People who can help, and more sources of information.
  • FAQ—Some Frequently Asked Questions about parental separation and divorce.

This website is provided by Pine Tree Legal Assistance, with funding from the Legal Services Corporation. It was developed by the Justice Education Society of British Columbia. 

Q & A

Q:
If my parents divorce, will the same thing happen to me?
A:

Many teens whose parents split up feel anxious about their own relationships in the future. But just because your parents split up doesn't mean the same thing will happen to you. What happens in your relationships will be up to you, not your parents!

Q:
I really feel like I need some help in dealing with this. Who should I ask?
A:

There are lots of people around you who can help. Tell your parents, teacher, school counselor, family doctor or another adult you trust. If they can't help you themselves, they should be able to help you find someone who can.

If you aren't getting the help you think you need, keep asking until you get it.

Q:
My parents never married. Do they have to go through the same process that married parents do when they split up?
A:

Parents who never married or chose to live together without getting married—don't have to get a divorce, because there is no marriage to end. But they do need to decide what will happen to their children and how they will divide their property.

Q:
What will my friends say when they find out about my parents splitting up?
A:

Lots of teens worry about breaking the news to their friends. Some feel embarrassed about what is happening.

Separation and divorce are very common these days. That means that many people have been through it themselves, and most probably know someone who has.

Good friends will be glad you've told them. They'll know that you're still you, even though your family is changing.

Q:
Can I do anything to get my parents back together?
A:

Most parents split up only after trying very hard to save their relationship. Their decision to separate or divorce is usually final.

Some teens hope and believe that if they try to be on their very best behavior, their parents will get back together. However, this plan isn't likely to work, since their parents' decision to split up had nothing to do with them.

Apart from suggesting that your parents see a marriage counselor, if they haven't already done so, the best thing that you can do is to begin to accept the situation so that you can get on with your life.