Speak Up!

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Talk about your feelings. It will make you feel better. If there are things you need, ask. Your parents may be so upset or distracted that they forget your needs. It's OK to remind them that you have needs and to say what they are. For example, you could say:

  • “I need you both to stay involved with me, and to find ways to make sure this happens.”
  • “I need you to try to get along, especially about things that directly affect me.”
  • “I need as few changes in my life as possible.”

If there are things you need to know, ask. You should have as much information as possible about what is happening. If you are concerned about something, speak up. For example, if you feel caught in the middle of your parents' problems, say so.

Q & A

Do I have to take sides, or choose one parent over the other?

No, you don't. You have the right to love and be loved by both parents.

If you are feeling pressured to take sides, and you feel you are caught in the middle of your parents' problems, tell them.

What will my friends say when they find out about my parents splitting up?

Lots of teens worry about breaking the news to their friends. Some feel embarrassed about what is happening.

Separation and divorce are very common these days. That means that many people have been through it themselves, and most probably know someone who has.

Good friends will be glad you've told them. They'll know that you're still you, even though your family is changing.