Dealing With It

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Skye: Dealing With It

Here are some tools to help with things you might be finding hard.


Skye: Telling your friends

Some kids find it hard to tell their friends about their parents splitting up.

Tell one friend at a time.

Good friends will be glad you’ve told them. They will know that you’re still the same person, even though your family is changing.


Michael: Having two homes

Living part of the time with one parent and part of the time with the other can be confusing at first, but it can also be new and exciting.

Get your parents to help you fill in a calendar so you know where you are going to be every day of the month.

Take something special that makes you happy—like a pillow, blanket, or toy back and forth to each home.

Get your parents to help you make a list of all the things you need to have with you at each home. Check it before you leave to make sure you have everything.

Try to get two of some things you always need - like toothbrushes, hairbrushes, and other small things - so you don’t have to carry them back and forth.


Jeremy: Spending time with a parent you don’t live with

It might feel strange at first to be visiting a parent you used to live with!

They are still your parent and they love you. You can still do things that you like to do together. Do things that you’ve always done. Or try new things that are fun.


Jane: Missing a parent

If one parent has moved far away, or you don’t get to see one parent very often, you might miss them. Even if you live part of the time with each parent, it’s normal to miss the one you’re not with.

There are lots of things you can do to feel connected.

  • Ask each parent for a special thing that reminds you of them, and keep it with you.
  • Decide on regular times to talk.
  • Send texts or e-mails often. Maybe send one every day.


Kiko: Holidays and Other Special Times

Special times like birthdays and holidays can be hard at first.

There are lots of ways to deal with special times. Maybe you can celebrate the same thing when you’re with both parents? That means you might have two birthday parties! Or you can celebrate one special time with one parent, and the next special time with the other parent.


Neel: Parents Dating

As your parents begin to get on with their lives, they might start dating. They might get a boyfriend or girlfriend.

You might feel jealous and want your parent all to yourself. Or you might worry that the new friend is going to replace your other parent.

Don’t worry. Your parents will always be your parents. They can’t be replaced, and neither can you.

Be polite, and try not to decide what you think about the person right away. You might become friends!